she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
people are starting to question the shark bite story
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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