please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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