Sponge bath it is.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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