just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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