I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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