Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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