i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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