Just took my morning after pill in the library
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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