...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
