I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
PANTIES FOUND
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