he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Bring me that man meat
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
