Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
