I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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