You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
