its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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