How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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