its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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