I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
