I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
