Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
