isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
