I showed him my bush... on skype.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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