You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
