Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
