It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
