"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
