He asked me if I "almost moaned"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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