my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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