People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
