While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
