I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
