everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
