Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
