I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
