that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
