I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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