I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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