Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
