whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
