It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
