He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize