So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
