NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
