btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
