Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it was like having sex with a tree stump
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
