I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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