I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Text me some of your sweat
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
