I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
