are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
