Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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