Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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