Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
