I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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