On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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