So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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