Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize