matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
