she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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