There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
